I had a case where a teenage girl was on the run. The police picked her up and called me at 7 a.m. on a day I could not cancel my scheduled appointments. I needed help. I had used the time when she was on the run to work with her two aunts, so when this call came, I called one of her aunts at 7 a.m. "Eunice," I said, "I need your help." And she helped - she came, she took the girl! Before, I never would have done that but I simply could not take care of the girl that day and I had gotten to know Eunice as we worked on the case, so I felt that maybe I could call her and ask for help, even at 7 a.m.
You do need family to be involved as much as you are. I'm less stressed and anxious about having to do everything myself, less fearful that I'm making a mistake. I think that maybe I'm more comfortable with my judgment because I have more tools and I'm not doing it all alone.
On another case, a staff member from the girl's former group home took her to church in Richmond. Having a former staff person involved is something I wouldn't have considered before, but it's working out well.
I find that I'm consciously using what I have learned from Family Finding in my other cases. All children need love and a home. Sometimes in the job, we forget this and lose hope. I realized I was losing hope for one of my teens, but recognized it whereas before I didn't recognize it, and I decided I needed to talk with my supervisor about it.
In one of my cases, I never thought mom would be back in the picture - chronic drug use, a six- and eight-year old out of her home for a long time. Because of my change in attitude, I'm now thinking, "I'm not going to raise these kids until they're 18. I want them out of the system," and so I've been more patient as I work with mom trying to find permanency for these boys, which, as it turns out, may be with her! Because I'm more patient with her, mom is more open and willing to work with me. A year ago, my attitude would have been, "No way am I doing this." Six months ago, even. Now I'm not working from a box frame and that makes my working relationship easier - mom has told me about her background and understanding her makes me easier with her. I get a sense that she feels respected as an individual as well as a mother. She is more open to following what is required of her, thinking about her kids and hopeful that this could work. She has now completed her entire case plan, including meeting with a therapist and addressing the boys' needs. A month ago I went to her house. As I was listening to her, I looked around and said, "Linda, you've come a long way. I never thought I'd see the day when I was sitting in your living room and listening to your struggles. Look where we are - we're going to have overnights with your kids!"
